You Gotta Step Back From Yourself

I know you're mad at me. You should be, I guess. I don't have a good reason for my behavior. It's just that when I see him screwing up so royally I can't stand it. I know, I know, you made a really good point when you compared my feelings about Jillian to your father's feelings about me. We love who we love, I get that. Your father thinks you're throwing your future away by being with me - and unlike you, I think he's probably right, at least in the short term. J and Jill are the same kind of deal. I just want so very much for him to be happy, and all I can see is that he's trading a long-term happy future for something that will only make him happy for the moment. I did that. I got married to a woman, not just once but twice, because I thought it would make me happy at the moment. I don't think that J is anyone but who he is... I just think that the choices he's making right now are going to come back to haunt him, and he won't hear that from me.
Please, please don't be mad at me for too long. Even though you're right, I just can't bear it. When you were so short with me on the phone, I just wanted to die. Literally. Especially because I know in my heard that you're right - it's just my heart that won't get on board.
Anyway, let's talk about this tonight. Robbie and Katherine are going out to Beck Road with everybody else, so we'll have the whole house to ourselves, and how often does that happen? Who knows, maybe you can finally make sense of it all for me, because right now I'm just so upset I can't even think straight.
Ha ha, me thinking 'straight,' right?
I love you. Forgive me.

Title from verse 1 of "Out Of Control" by Bob Pladek.